


Imperial Droids and How to Reprogram Them

by intergalacticfeminist



Series: Beginning and End [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Canon Backstory, Gen, I Tried, I deleted this entire thing by accident and now I am going to rewrite it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 18:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9084472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intergalacticfeminist/pseuds/intergalacticfeminist
Summary: The story we've all wanted to hear – how Cassian Andor reprogrammed K-2SO.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Well, buckle up, because I wrote this earlier today, accidentally deleted it all, and am now going to rewrite the entire thing while fueled by a combination of spite and sugary snacks. This fic is dedicated in memory of our own space princess, Carrie Fisher. May she rest in peace.

Cassian idled in the air before circling down and coming to a stop under a rock ledge that perfectly concealed his ship. Still, he felt prepared for the risky mission of the day – break into an Imperial base literally just to listen into conversations to see if he could catch any valuable information. From his position he could see the front entrance, since there were steady streams of white-suited Stormtroopers exiting and entering the tall base, the odd bluish sunlight glinting starkly off of their helmets. He was glad for the jagged rocks, as they concealed him as he looped around to the other side of the base to see if there was an entrance on that side as well.

There was.

He only had to wait a few moments before the door opened and several tall security droids walked out. Cassian had seconds to spare if he wanted to get through that door unnoticed. Keeping himself low to the ground, he dashed toward the door, keeping himself as far to the droids' side was he could. By miracle, they didn't notice, and he slid on his knees under the door just in the nick of time. It seemed he had entered a sort of hallway. It was long, dark, and had smooth floors. Cassian's heart was beating so loudly he could swear it was echoing off the walls. In the distance he could hear the rumble of footsteps. He knew he was going to have to walk a long time before he made it anywhere. In fact, it felt like hours before anything eventful happened. Cassian's stomach dropped as he heard a rhythmic  _thud-thud_ of footsteps. The footsteps of an Imperial security droid, to be exact.  _Shit, shit, shit shit,_ thought Cassian, reaching for his blaster.

As soon as he saw the Imperial droid, he fired. The unexpected kickback knocked him backwards, and he heard an even louder sound as the droid toppled over. Cassian scrambled to his feet, looking around. He nearly had a heart attack as a voice thick with the accent characteristic of those working under Darth Vader piped up from the ground, "You blockhead! You shot me!"

Cassian looked down at the droid he had shot. He was a security droid, clearly, 7 feet tall, and his chest was dented in and sparking. His eyes flickered on and off a few times. "Did you just... call me a blockhead?" Cassian asked. "I'm pretty sure that security droids don't have emotions."

"I think my circuits are being fried." said the droid unhappily, a spark flying from his chest.

Cassian sighed as his heart twisted in pity at the matter-of-fact attitude the droid had. "What's your name?"

"K-2SO. You're from the Resistance." the droid said in a suspicious tone.

Cassian looked down at his vest and the giant Resistance insignia on it. "I didn't think this through." He said, groaning inwardly.

He felt K-2SO watching him as he shoved his blaster back in its holster and thought about what he should do with the droid. He was malfunctioning – he'd seen enough security droids to know that they weren't supposed to have much personality or emotions. They were just programmed to throw people out brutishly. Cassian grabbed K-2SO's hand and heaved him to his feet. Or – he tried to. The droid probably weighed a ton. "You could at least help yourself a little." Cassian said, putting his hands on his hips.

He could have sworn that K-2SO had given him a glare as he attempted to push himself onto his feet. "I'm afraid I'm having some difficulties." said the droid from his position lying on his back on the floor.

Cassian shot K-2SO a dirty look as he tried to pull him to his feet again. The droid's legs (he was actually mostly legs) floundered and his feet slipped on the smooth black floors. It was a long process to get himself back on his feet. The gangly robot did eventually pick himself up and began to walk with Cassian, who observed that his judgement was completely clouded and he was just walking with Cassian for no reason at all aside from the fact that they had had an awkward conversation during which he had been called a "blockhead". Just then an idea occurred to him. He felt bad enough that he was going to repair the robot, but then he'd just be evil and emotionless again, so if he were to reprogram him, he could make him talk about what he knew about the Empire's plans. K-2SO in his drunken state was quite chatty, and Cassian tolerated his many degrading comments and mispronunciations of his name until the giggling started. "Hahaha, sir, you are ugly." K-2SO slurred, eyes flickering on and off.

"Shut up, Kay."

"No,  _you_ shut up, Cassian!"

Cassian rolled his eyes, reminding himself that he had at least gotten his name right. Other than that, things had been going smoothly, until the duo heard the familiar footsteps of another security droid. "Kay, we're going to have to improvise. I'm your prisoner, and y–"

He didn't have time to finish before K-2SO, in his delirious state, hurled him against a wall and struck up conversation with the other security droid. Cassian could already feel the bruises that were going to result from the impact of his back against the wall. He could only hear snippets of the words being exchanged between the two Imperial droids, but neither of them seemed particularly disgruntled, so Cassian took that as a good sign. As his vision cleared, he saw the unnamed security droid continue on his way down the hall in the opposite direction as them. "How was my improvising?" K-2SO asked, sounding like an eager child, chest plate sparking continuously.

"Great, just great. Thanks a lot." Cassian said gruffly, his back cracking as he got to his feet.

K-2SO didn't take the hint that Cassian wasn't very happy with him and continued his chatter. Cassian didn't listen to a word of it, and by the time they had reached his ship the droid had completely tired himself out. For the duration of the trip back K-2SO was powered down. Unfortunately, Cassian didn't anticipate how he was going to get the robot off the ship. After some digging, he came across a stretcher and a jack. It took some effort to get K-2SO on the jack and then onto the stretcher, but in the end it worked out. Now the only thing Cassian had to worry about was getting an Imperial droid through a Resistance camp. He didn't make it halfway to the repair shed before he was intercepted by another pilot. "What's that?" The pilot asked, jabbing a finger at K-2SO's lifeless form.

"An Imperial droid." Cassian said.

"And what's it doin' here?" The pilot asked.

"It's part of my mission. It wasn't on orders. I shot him, got distracted. Figured I could bring him back, repair and reprogram him, and then get him to spill what he knows." Cassian said, smiling awkwardly in hopes of diffusing the situation.

To his surprise, the pilot made an assenting noise and carried on. Cassian about collapsed to the ground in relief, although his back was also killing him and lying down would be nice. He wheeled the stretcher doggedly on.

Reprogramming K-2SO took the entire rest of the day. Cassian bit his lip in anticipation as he turned the droid on. There was a dramatic pause before K-2SO's eyes were glinting coldly. The droid stood quickly, almost immediately smacked his head on the ceiling, and said indignantly, "You blockhead! You kidnapped me!"

"How do you feel?" Cassian asked, ignoring the insult.

K-2SO flexed his fingers, which were each about 4 and a half inches long. "I am quite well," He said, sounding stuffy. "You've been incredibly kind, and by kind I mean that you are repulsive and I cannot believe you shot me."

Cassian stifled a laugh. "Relax, Kay, you're fine. I fixed you up."

K-2SO didn't thank him.

The evening was spent introducing the former Imperial droid to the rest of the team.

"Nice to meet you." said a weapons expert with a beehive, smiling warmly.

"Your hair is tall. Has it ever fallen over?" responded Kay.

The weapons expert looked somewhat offended, and as the droid walked away, Cassian said,

"He means well."

 


End file.
